my ring

Monday morning, I noticed that my engagement ring was missing. What immediately followed was a panicky, frantic hunt, throwing the already messy house into even more disarray. I knew I had it the previous Tuesday, our 3rd year anniversary, because I cleaned it right before we went out to dinner. I knew I had it on Friday, when I was cutting color swatches for KenzieKate, because it was pinching my finger when I was using the scissors on the tough paper. After that, I neither remembered having it nor not having it. Where had I been? Where did I see it last? Could it have fallen off? Did someone take it? My entire Monday was spent in a daze, trying to remember what I did with it.
Then, I remembered putting it on the coffee table, while I cut swatches. I had taken it off, because it was hurting my finger. I remember putting it in a box lid, so it wouldn't fall on the floor. Then I remembered putting scraps from my paper swatches in the same box lid so I didn't make a mess. Then, as far as I can remember, I left them there. The ring in the lid, with the scraps. Once I remembered, I immediately went on the hunt for that box lid. It wasn't on the coffee table any more. We had cleaned the room on Saturday morning. One of us must have dumped the scraps into the garbage, not knowing or remembering the ring was in there. Then came the frantic search thru the trash. Not in there. Then the horrible realization that the trash had been picked up that morning. Oh God. All the trash from the week before. The trash from Saturday too. It was all at the city dump by the time I realized what had happened on Monday night.
I've lost things in the past, important things, but never something this meaningful. I had pictured giving this ring to my children as a family heirloom. My friend made this ring with her own two hands, especially for Dell and I. It was my "something blue" at my wedding. It is the single most meaningful gift I have ever gotten. And now it's gone. I feel a little silly being so upset about this. But I can't describe how much I feel I've lost.
I know that most of you have just gotten your rings, and you love them, and you can't imagine ever loosing sight of them for even a second. So I guess that makes this blog post pretty much a huge downer? I promise that tomorrow I'll write about something awesome and cheerful. Just don't hate me if there are no engagement ring posts for a while. The wound is still pretty fresh.